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  • Writer's pictureEboni D. Howell, LPC

Self-Love: Accepting All of Who I Am

Updated: Feb 15, 2023


One of my favorite jazz singers is Billie Holiday. To me, she is the most influential and remarkable vocalist of all time. Her vocal manipulations and improvisational skills continue to be unmatched. In spite of her success (she was the highest paid performer of her time), she experienced a painful and tumultuous life. The song All of Me is reflective of her struggle to love herself fully. Her soul and voice cried out to another to do what she seemed unable to do.


Beneath our exterior is a soul that deserves to be honored. It forms the essence of our being and is meant to be treated with respect. Self-love means accepting the entirety of who you are. The perspective of the outside world is irrelevant. The world cannot, nor will it ever, accept all of who we are. The world’s love is conditional. Self-love is a gift that we give to ourselves when we accept and treasure all the complexity of our being, flaws and all. Self-love is the demonstrated ability to celebrate your strengths and embrace your perceived imperfections.


Building self-love happens from the inside out. Positive self-talk occurs naturally when you achieve a sincere love for the person you are. The integrity of self-love ensures that my internal interactions with and about myself are handled honestly and gently. My honesty inspires me to trust my instincts. Knowing that my internal dialog is a safe place gives me a good feeling about myself. I approach myself with kindness, regardless of the situation.


Although I have flaws, my positive traits far exceed anything that I sometimes feel insecure about. I celebrate my strengths and embrace my imperfections. There is so much about me that is lovable.


Today, I am exactly the person I am supposed to be, and I love every ounce of my being. There is power in truly accepting myself just the way I am. With confidence, I go through each day conquering big challenges and feeling proud of my victories.


Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What are some of my favorite personality traits?

  2. How do I rebuild my confidence when I am made to feel unloved by another person?

  3. What are some positive affirmations that I can repeat to myself each day?


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